Satisfyer 2


I’m pretty new to the ‘suction’ clit stimulation toys that burst onto the sex toy market pretty rapidly with the womanizer in 2015. They were well out of my price range and I hadn’t been lucky enough to test the womanizer , either. Then in 2016, Satisfyer launched a very similar toy, the Satysfer Pro 2, at a fraction of the cost. I did purchase a Pro 2, but didn’t get the chance to give it a thorough testing as I left it at a festival. However, I got the opportunity to give 3 Satisfyer models a good test run, in exchange of an honest review.

Out of the 3 Satisfyer’s sent, the Satisfyer 2 was the first to get testing. When I first took it from the box, I was a little disappointed by the quality. It looked and felt really cheap, ‘boxy’ and the fact it was battery operated, didn’t have me enthused. The gender-neutral colour is a bonus and the large nozzle is great for a good covering of my clit that is hidden away under my very chunky outer labia. As someone who enjoys stimulation on her inner labia and vulva, the large nozzle comes in handy for broader stimulation.


Over several days, I really became quite fond of the Satisfyer 2. I love the 7 inch long handle, it’s ideal for me as my tummy is my nemesis and cant get in the way of my arms,although it is not as ergonomic as the Penguin or Pro 2.One mega issue though…..the buttons are totally in the wrong place. Why the heck are they at the nozzle end? Granted there is a power button and a + to increase speeds and to decrease, but damn, my fingers aren’t long enough to reach them.  I have to remove the Satisfyer to see what buttons I need to press. Doing this is like orgasm denial….wanting to ramp up the speed, but having to take it away and then faff about replacing the Satisfyer in between my chunky labia. It’s just a faff. Luckily, I mostly only need to use the first two or three speeds.

The motor is pretty strong for something that needs powering with 2 AAA batteries. It is loud and rattles somewhat, so if you house share, you will need to consider this factor. Oddly, Satisfyer claim on their website that the motor is whisper quiet, but believe me, it’s not! There is no way I can get to full power, of the 11  programmes, I only use the first three, it becomes way too intense and gives me an urge to pee and it send my clit numb!

I can’t quite describe the sensation I get off any of the Satisfyer models. It does have a slight suction feeling, perhaps rapid ‘thuddy’ sort of vibrations? I can’t put it into words. I know that the highest settings feel way too high pitched and buzzy, that make me squirm in the wrong way, to the point that it hurts, even if I place the nozzle on my vulva instead of my clitoris. It has taken a few weeks to get used to this sort of stimulation, I discovered that the Satisfyer 2 is best used when I’m really horny. On a low setting and very aroused, this is the best time for me to use it. When I climax, my orgasm thunders through my body whilst i scream into a pillow. I’m left spent, with jelly legs, which is no fun when trying to get to the bathroom!

I must mention that a few bloggers have had issues with their Satisfyer models not being waterproof, therefore I haven’t put mine in water. I remove the silicone nozzle and give it a thorough wash, but I use a sex toy cleaner and wipes to clean the rest of the toy. Just make sure the battery compartment is sealed shut if you’re a squirter and don’t use in the bath tub or shower.


Overall, the Satisfyer 2 worked for me due to the long handle. It has a good, strong motor, but the buttons are in the wrong place. It’s loud, really loud, it reminds me of a Chinook or something. The sound does dull a little when the nozzle is nestled inbetween my chunky outer labia.The large nozzle may not suit everybody.  Satisfyer are more affordable than Womanizer, but sadly I can’t compare. A spare, replacement nozzle wouldn’t go amiss, and perhaps a storage pouch.

If you are looking to try something new, that is different from regular vibrators, it’s worth trying the Satisfyer 2



Lovehoney Main Squeeze Double Kegel Balls 60g


I am no stranger when it comes to Kegel balls. I own various shapes and sizes, from glass to steel,  but none have come close to being as successful as these. They have changed my life! I will explain further on.

I was sent the Lovehoney Main Squeeze Double Kegel Balls for free, in exchange of my honest review.

As ever, with Lovehoney’s own branded products, the Lovehoney Main Squeeze Double Kegel Balls come in a tasteful box with the logos. Inside is a brief, easy to read instruction leaflet. The only thing lacking would be a satin pouch to keep them safely in, but luckily I had a spare LH pouch to store them in.

These Kegel balls are aimed as a progressive pelvic workout, moving on from the single 30g ball to progress your workout. Then there is a third set of heavy 90g balls for the advanced user, which you can buy separately.

First thing to notice about the Kegel balls is the vibrant purple colour and the velvety smooth silicone. They feel ever so luxurious and they are seam-free and flawless. Silicone is super hygienic, no worrying about bacteria lurking on the balls after washing, and they are skin-friendly with no phthalates. A super smooth finger loop means you can nip to the loo whilst wearing them (if you think you can keep the balls in place). The silicone dries quickly, unlike the corded versions on other Kegel balls. The balls do collect a bit of lint and hairs (especially the pesky cats!!), but a quick rinse before inserting and they’re good to go.

The connecting silicone in the middle is firm, which makes it easy to insert both of the balls. The 60g weight is one of the heaviest I have used so far, but once inside the vagina, there isn’t a heavy feeling, but after a few days use, you do notice that they are there.

To insert, it’s recommended to use a good water-based lube. I prefer Lovehoney’s own brand. A good dollop on the balls and the vulva and they should slide in easily. It’s best not to use a silicone lube, as the balls may react to it and you wouldn’t want to go and spoil the flawless surface of the balls.

Once the balls are inserted your internal muscles automatically clench around the balls, but as I have had issues with bowel incontinence due to spinal surgery, I gave myself an extra workout with the pelvic floor exercises my physiotherapist gave me. Basically it was to wear the balls for 15 minuets 3 times a day, clenching for 10 seconds and relaxing, then repeat 10 times. The other exercise was to do quick clenches and release.

I had been doing this for several months with glass balls, with only a slight improvement. 4 days of using the Lovehoney Main Squeeze Double Kegel Balls and I’m back to full control of my bowel. Absolutely amazing and life changing. If you suffer with bladder incontinence I believe these balls could really help, with the added exercises.

If you are just looking to tighten/tone your internal muscles, simply start off by wearing the balls for 15 minuets at a time and progress to longer periods. You can do your usual activities, such as walking, jogging, dancing etc. and you’ll be giving yourself an internal workout.

I don’t really feel the balls jiggle inside. I have done on occasion when bending down, or climbing stairs, but I wasn’t intending on getting any kind of sexual pleasure from them, I was hoping for a miracle cure to my incontinence, and that is what I got!

Occasionally, if I leave the balls in for several hours, my muscles begin to ache a little. This is when I know I need to remove them. With all the exercising I’ve been doing, I’ve not only solved my medical issue, I have really tightened up! My muscles grip the balls, so for easy removal I find that squatting or having one leg raised on a stool helps to ease the balls out.

When I have gone on to use a glass dildo immediately after, even with generous amounts of lube I can feel how tight my muscles have become and I have an awesome grip on the glass. I can stand up and the glass won’t slide out!

To clean, I use soapy hot water and Lovehoney sex toy cleaner, pat dry with a towel and store in a satin pouch to keep them dust free.

Overall, I would thoroughly recommend these balls to intermediate users, after the 30g ball and for those that may have incontinence issues, especially after child birth, or if you want to just do a general toning to get stronger orgasms. These balls have really been fantastic for me and have changed my life for the better. I just wish they’d have been available sooner – perhaps I’d have saved some money from buying all the other Kegel balls I own! If you’re looking for something to give you orgasms, these balls may not be for you.

Buy them. You won’t be disappointed. 9/10


Lovehoney Lifelike 8 Inch Pink Dildo with Suction Cup

I had the  Lovehoney Lifelike 8 inch pink dildo with suction cup on my wishlist for several months before taking the plunge and buying it. You see, I was always happy to buy and use 10 inch plus dongs to use on others, but when it came to using anything bigger than 5 inches on myself,  my vagina would close up at the thought! Yup, tight as a clam…that was until I met this guy at a swingers club, he wooed me into a room and revealed a 9 inch cock! From there he came a regular swinging partner, but he often worked away and I began to crave a more fuller feeling during solo masturbation and here is where the Lovehoney dildo appeared in my life.

If you have never shopped with Lovehoney, you’ll be unfamiliar with their packaging. It is always discreet, in a plain brown box, a tracking label and your address label, so it’s safe to have your parcel delivered at home, work or a neighbours. Inside this box, you’ll find that the dildo comes in a smart cardboard box, it’s female friendly with no garish 80’s porn style photography in sight.  Lovehoney gets the packaging just right. It even has a little leaflet inside with a few tips and care instructions.

Taking the dildo out of the packaging, I spent a while just studying and feeling it. It is so realistic that I want to lick it, run my hands up and down its shaft and nibble on the testicles. Am I weird? Hahaha. I can’t put it down. I stick it on my laptop and stroke it!

The detailing is truly amazing. Most definitely lifelike, it resembles a circumcised penis (my preference in men). The bulbous head is perfectly shaped and the veiny shaft is realistic and the testicles are even slightly different sizes. Spot-on Lovehoney!

Silicone is the way to go for safe sex toys. It is body friendly, as it can’t harbour bacteria, it contains no phthalates and no latex, so if you share this dildo between washes, it’s safe to do so.

I just love the silicone. It’s so smooth and flexible. The suction cup base is wide and very strong. Great to stick to your bathroom tiles and get in the doggy position whilst in the shower, although I struggle a bit in this position and prefer to just lay back in bed and thrust the dildo. The slightly curved shaft is perfect for G-Spot stimulation and this is my favourite way to orgasm at the moment. It may also be worth noting, that I find the dildo to be easier inserted upside down, so the balls are facing up to the ceiling, as I can find the ridge of the head slightly uncomfortable. Once in, I turn the dildo back to the right way down, but can only do soft thrusts, anything vigorous tends to hurt, unless I keep it upside down for longer thrusts.

This dildo also fits well into my strap-on harness, and even though the dildo is quite heavy and flops, but it is easy to insert and use on another person. Great for pegging or girl on girl as there is plenty of length to play with.

With lashings of water-based lube, the tapered head makes for easy insertion. As I slowly begin to push it in, the shaft getting deeper, I gasp at the fullness, the stretch of my vaginal muscles, then the slight spasms inside. I feel every vein caressing my moist vagina. Balls deep, the balls tease your labia and clitoris when pumping the dildo in and out. I also like to keep the dildo still and rock back and forth on it, getting the extra external stimulation. Orgasms are wet and powerful.

I have yet to try this on myself anally and think it will be a long while until I do so, so sadly can’t review how the dildo feels this way. Sorry guys.

To wash, simply use a good sex toy cleaner or wipes, warm soapy water, or stick it in the dishwasher. You can boil it and use 10% bleach solution with water. Air dry, or use a towel to gently rub it down.

I’d not recommend this dildo to beginners, but would recommend it to anal users, size Queens, intermediate/advanced peggers. 8/10


Buy it, you won’t regret it! You can buy at Lovehoney for £34:99